My first day of blogging and I take on a hard topic. Am I nuts? No, just a worried big sister. Right now as I write this my sister is once again in danger from her abusive ex-husband. Please note the EX part of ex-husband. She had been divorced from him for almost 10 years.
For all those years she has had to look over her shoulder, made sure her doors and car were always locked. And for 10 years he has gotten away with making her life a living hell. Sure he does have a few felony convictions for criminal threats against him. But they matter for little after he finished his probation.
Here is my question, how long does someone have to be divorced before it is no long a domestic situation. When does it become just some wack job threatening another person. The police still consider this a domestic situation because they had been married once.
Plus he is smart. Very mean and evil and smart. He now uses throw away phones. The same one drug dealers used. Can’t be traced to him. He sends hateful text messages to my sister. Written in such a way that the threat is there, but just benign enough not to violate any laws. He calls her every hour of the day or night, and then hangs up. Why doesn’t she change her number. She did. He sneaked the number off of one of their grown children’s cell phones when no one was looking. How many times does she have to change her life, because he can’t get a grip?
Recently my sister decided after 10 long, scary, lonely years to start dating again. He recently found out. Now we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. He has started by getting the phone number of the person she is seeing, and threatening him with “war”. The police can not do anything, though they admit he is the one behind the phone calls and text messages.
And what can I do? When I lived with her in Kansas,all I could do was watch her back. There were two pairs of eyes instead of just one. But that didn’t stop him. He still messed with her car and cost us $700 to get it fixed. So much for locking gas caps. Over the years he has shot out her windows 3 times and sliced her tires more times than I can count.
Now I am in Alaska, all I can do is give my support and worry. I don’t understand why people like this can’t be stopped, and how he keeps getting away with terrorizing her. Why no one thinks its important because she once was young and married the wrong man? Why do the police make her feel like she is a fault when she reports it. And if she doesn’t report it, they make her feel at fault for not calling them. She can’t win. The only person winning is the crazy ass hole, the nut case control freak.
It is very scary waiting on the sidelines while someone I love is in danger. What does this is war mean? Can’t be anything good.